Your school reports are being written in the next 3 days. Mr McCartney wants you to put a highlights package together.
My best 4 paragraphs of work this year. It can be ANY paragraph work you have completed in English this year, at this school, or another school if you have recently arrived here. Mr McCartney has given an example for you.
My paragraphs (Copy and paste)
12 point font | My paragraph (Copy and paste again - highlight keywords and best bits - no more than 8 words highlighted 12 Point font | Summarise (60 to 80) using Firstly, secondly next and lastly, why this has been included 14 point font |
Teeth Scars There was snow on the ground and I had my hands in my pockets, to keep them warm. The drainpipe in the factory was broken and freezing water had turned to ice on the footpath. I was going to Glebelands Primary School, but never got there because I fell forward on the ice and broke my two front teeth off.
I have a scar in my mouth, where one of my front teeth used to be. When I was 11 or 12, I was walking down the road in Kemback Street in Dundee Scotland. It was freezing cold, so it must have been in the winter months of December, January or February. In Scotland, the long holidays are in June and July, whereas in New Zealand, summer holidays are in December and January.
133 words | Teeth Scars There was snow on the ground and I had my hands in my pockets, to keep them warm. The drainpipe in the factory was broken and freezing water had turned to ice on the footpath. I was going to Glebelands Primary School, but never got there because I fell forward on the ice and broke my two front teeth off.
When I was 11 or 12, I was walking down the road in Kemback Street in Dundee Scotland. It was freezing cold, so it must have been in the winter months of December, January or February. In Scotland, the long holidays are in June and July, whereas in New Zealand, summer holidays are in December and January.
| Firstly, I broke both my front teeth, Secondly, it was caused by falling over on ice. Next, it took place in winter when my hands were in my pockets and I could not break my fall with my arms. Lastly, it happened in Dundee Scotland when I was 11 or 12 and on my way to Glebelands Primary School.
I chose this as one of my best pieces of work, because it is one of my earliest memories of school.
80 Words Summary |
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My best work paragraphs (Copy and paste)
12 point font | My paragraph (Copy and paste again - highlight keywords and best bits - no more than 8 words highlighted
12 Point font | Summarise (60 to 80) using Firstly, secondly next and lastly, why this has been included 14 point font |
Start pasting your TOP 4 pieces of paragraph written work here |
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1I have a smart phone at my house along with five others and a tv. My phone has some type of battery that is mined to make it, so people need to mine it for me to get the battery. In Congo there is a mine that has the stuff to make batteries and there are kids as young as seven mining and helping to find the ore. I know I would not like it if I was one of them because it is very bad and it's boring. | I have a smart phone at my house along with five others and a tv. My phone has some type of battery that is mined to make it, so people need to mine it for me to get the battery. In Congo there is a mine that has the stuff to make batteries and there are kids as young as seven mining and helping to find the ore. I know I would not like it if I was one of them because it is very bad and it's boring.
| Firstly I have a phone that uses a battery that is made using an ore in conga. Secondly there are kids as young as seven mining for the ore that my phone uses for almost no money. Finally the people who run Samsung make a lot of money and the kid only makes about a dollar or maybe even cents a day. |
2 There are still children working in mines around the world. Probably because the kids need the money for their family and for their survival. For example there are kids in India trying to pay off debt because their parents bought something they couldn't afford so the kid has to make cigarettes or fireworks for most their life. In my opinion I think the kids shouldn't have to work that young but if they do I think they should get paid more. | There are still children working in mines around the world. Probably because the kids need the money for their family and for their survival. For example there are kids in India trying to pay off debt because their parents bought something they couldn't afford so the kid has to make cigarettes or fireworks for most their life. In my opinion I think the kids shouldn't have to work that young but if they do I think they should get paid more.
| Firstly there are children working all around the world for very little money probably because their parents are too poor to afford anything. Secondly there is an example of a kid in India making cigars because his parents bought something off a guy but he said their child will have to work for it. Finally I think the kids need to be paid more or just not need to go to work. |
3 Child labour is very bad and and unhealthy. It's very unhealthy because of the environment they are in and it's very bad because they can't learn much and they are wasting their life. For example if there is a miner they have to go down in the mines and breath in dust and touch dangerous minerals. I think this is very wrong because the kids will get no education and it's very dangerous. | Child labour is very bad and and unhealthy. It's very unhealthy because of the environment they are in and it's very bad because they can't learn much and they are wasting their life. For example if there is a miner they have to go down in the mines and breath in dust and touch dangerous minerals. I think this is very wrong because the kids will get no education and it's very dangerous.
| Firstly child labour is very unhealthy because of the environment the kids are working in. secondly if the kid was a miner they would breath in dust and other stuff like that and could get stuck in holes in the mine. Finally I think child labour is very dangerous and unhealthy because kids are working in poor conditions and could die. |
4 Child labour ruines kids lives because they have no education. The only stuff they can learn is stuff their parents teach them or what they learn when they are working. For example if they made cigars they would learn how to make cigars and they would learn not much else. I think they should get more of an education because they do so much work but still can't seem to afford the education. | Child labour ruines kids lives because they have no education. The only stuff they can learn is stuff their parents teach them or what they learn when they are working. For example if they made cigars they would learn how to make cigars and they would learn not much else. I think they should get more of an education because they do so much work but still can't seem to afford the education.
| Firstly child labour ruins a lot of kids child hood and lives because they get no education from schools. Secondly the only way they can learn is from their parents and whatever they do for their work like if they made cigars they would learn how to make them. Finally I think they should get more education than what they are getting at the moment. |
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